Isolation

This poem is not the best, but today I found out the person this poem is inspired by died on Christmas Day. He will be greatly missed and I hope he is no longer suffering and he is at peace. I love you, Wolfie.


 

Isolation

If I never noticed,
the scars that I saw, the ones
that crisscrossed all over your arm,
that you tried to hide with a faded blue hoodie.
Would you have told me about the darkness?
The darkness of the branches overhead that blocks out,
even the slither of the moonlight as we walk
through the town late at night, heading back to yours
Cutting us from the world, your breathing quickens, vision
blurring. To the point where you can no longer see me.
You’re secretive these days, you don’t even dare tell
that you spent the whole night cutting deep into skin.
Brushed off as if you are a burden, whose issues
will prick, like the bushes on the ground. No chance.
Not when you are the other side of me. We need each other.
I don’t mind what holds you back. Not the three little pills you
take three times a day. But you ignore them, fallen from your
hand, left on the ground, small pebbles. You know what is right
for you a diagnosis does not tell the whole story. It doesn’t match how you
are when you see me, picking my whole body up in a bear hug.
Your thick hair entangling in mine, I can feel your heartbeat through clothing.
Blue eyes looking into mine, a cheeky smile spread across your face.
I’ve missed you. Ready for the next adventure, walking side by side
picking me up and carrying me so don’t get mud on my boots.
Day turns into night and we are lost.
I know it is dark and you can’t see me, listen out for me, I’m there.
Thing are different now. Aren’t they? I am so far away, the distance
has pulled us apart.
Unable to trust me. I don’t mind that you blamed it all on me.
I’ll let you have your moment. Just please let me have my say.
Don’t shut the world out. We can find the path again, just trust me.
We can find the way home, the moon is still out, that small brightness.
Please remember saying a word won’t work, I want to make sure you’re okay.
I’m sorry, still going to be here, even when you don’t want me too.
A promise was made, when we hugged on your bed after you
told me it all and the silence fell, you chewed on your piercing.
I am not leaving you behind.

 

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Kiss

 

That she can’t change for love/And she explains how long she’s waited for/ She wanted more*

I’m sitting on my bed playing a song that is stuck on repeat. I sing it when walking around our city. I sing it when I wait for you and wonder would you like it.

All I can think about is you, and how things have changed since that November night, when you kissed me, and we kept doing it, every chance we got.

Walking to the library I pass the graveyard with the pyramid and I think about the time you pinned me against the black iron railings and my arms were wrapped around you,

and those girls that leaned out of the taxi and cheered at us, while car horns beeped. You quickly turned sheepish and I told you, -Keep kissing me like that and I will want to fuck you!

Our whole saga started just because you kissed my cheek, because I put dark purple lipstick on you, as I always ask -Please can you let me dress you in drag?

You always say no but you let me do it anyway. You left my cheek stained, I wiped it off -If you are going to kiss me, do it properly.

You clutched my face with your hands, doing what I know you wanted to do months ago when you texted me saying -Is it good or bad I wanted to snog your face off all night?!

The lights dimmed and I am sat on your knee, this time I make the first move, my eyes close from instinct and my fingers feel like static electricity, your hand reached up to my neck.

When we leave the bar, I am wearing your scarf, swinging the end around, You take the ends and pull me towards you, it tightens around my throat, my perfume lingers the next day.

You look at me, you want to kiss me, my back against a wall, but you unravel the scarf and wrap it around your neck. I walk away with someone else whose kisses didn’t match yours.

 

*Gerard Way. Hesitant Alien, Drugstore Perfume. L.A.: Warner Bros. Records, 2014. CD.

Dinner with The Devil

He was fiddling with his tie, adjusting the tightness. It didn’t matter how loose he made it, he still felt as if a hand was holding his throat.

  He was sat down, at a long wooden dining room table, a bouquet of flowers in the centre, with a single chair at each end. The chairs were surprisingly comfortable, as he remembered from the last time. The room hadn’t changed in fourteen years. The paintings on the walls were still there. He looked straight at the one behind the empty chair, for now, the dragon looked like he was sleeping, but he knew as soon as the fireplace was lit, the dragon would have a menacing gaze.

 His host for the moment was preoccupied. But he had the feeling he was trying to make him sweat. His suit was becoming tighter and the room had the strong fragrance of Lilies.

When he had been here before the smell didn’t bother him. Now it makes him think of funerals. His hand was now twisting his cufflinks. He was becoming aware, that once again, he was having dinner with the Devil.  He heard the strong rapid footsteps. He closed his eyes.

  The Devil was on his way, he walked into the room and Jason sat down, not facing the entrance. He lightened his footsteps, to walk unnoticed.  He came up behind him and rested his pale hands upon his shoulders. His long fingers digging into Jason’s body. Jason looked up, his lips set and his eyes focussed.

  The Devil knew he was scared, when he put his hands on him, his thumb lightly grazed his neck. His pulse was running wild.

‘Did somebody forget their manners? You should stand when your host arrives, Jason,’ said The Devil.

 Jason opened his mouth to speak. The Devil placed his finger on his lips. His unnatural golden eyes piercing into his grey. His cheekbones pronounced from his thin face.  He began to walk away, leaving Jason to shiver from his touch. The Devil’s long hair was tied up, going down the length of his back. When The Devil walked past the fireplace, he clicked his fingers at it, transforming the room. As a warm glow cast over, the paintings came to life. On one side, paintings of people being thrown into Hell. The other side, the Garden of Eden. Jason was right about the Dragon, its dark red eyes looked straight into his soul. When The Devil sat down facing him, he swore he heard the dragon laugh.

 ‘Welcome back Dearie, I presume this isn’t a catch up between old friends,’ said The Devil, as his head rested on his bridged fingers.

‘We aren’t friends, you planned this,’ Jason said, as he planted his hands on the table.

 ‘Planned what? I suppose we aren’t friends if you are to use that tone with me,’ said The Devil as he put his hands down and began to straighten his tie.

 ‘You knew my wife would die and my daughter would be left an orphan before she was 16,’ he said.

 ‘Oh that my dear, I would never plan. I had no reason to take your wife if you remember the deal, I only said I would take you,’ he said looking straight at Jason.  ‘I’m The Devil, not a politician, I do have a little integrity.’

 ‘Says The Devil, who God kicked out of Heaven after an uprising,’ Jason mumbled, The Devil heard him and his face contorted.

 ‘Perhaps Dearie, this will go better with a meal,’ He said as he walked to the mantle place and took down a brass bell and rang it three times.

 The dinner was served, by a pretty girl, her whole body was tense. She placed a plate in front of Jason, he turned down the choice of wine, wanting only water. She placed a single glass of wine in front of The Devil, she bowed her head slightly at him. The dinner roast beef, a crisp brown on the outside, pink on the inside, blood spilling out. The knife slipped through the meat as easily as if it was melted butter. Jason, under the gaze of The Devil, began to eat.

 The Devil had no plate in front of him. All he had was what appeared to be red wine. But the stains on the glass did not appear as if it was. The liquid barely stirred when he brought it to his lips. It tainted his mouth like paint. Jason grimaced and pushed his half eaten food to the side.

 The Devil ran his finger over the rim of the glass, his eyes never looking away from Jason.

‘So why have you come back?’ he said not even looking at Jason.

‘I want to cancel the deal,’ said Jason as he twisted at his wedding band.

The Devil looked at him, a smirk spread across his face before he started to laugh.

 ‘Oh Dearie, aren’t you brave, even I don’t go back on a deal,’ he said standing, as he walked down towards him.

 He shrank back into his seat, his back firmly pressed against the leather of the chair his palms sweating.

  ‘Actually, I don’t think you are brave, I think you are stupid,’ he said as he planted both hands on Jason’s face.

‘Please, I can’t leave my daughter an orphan,’ he said, tears beginning to well up in his eyes.

 The Devil tilted his head, and smirked again and bent his face close to Jason’s.

 ‘We made a deal Dearie, I take your life and soul when she is 15 years old,’ he said as he moved his hands to his neck, pressing his thumb down.

‘I don’t want to leave her on her own, she has no one else, it isn’t fair!’ He said.

‘Dearie life isn’t fair, she won’t be the only orphan in the world, I haven’t seen my father since I got kicked out of heaven,’ The Devil’s face softened as he said this, he pulled away from Jason. He pressed his hand to his temple, eyes closed.  Once his back was turned a small smile appeared on his face.

 

A woman wearing black heels and a tight dress walked into the room. Her hair was dark, long and wavy. In her hands was a dark red leather file. She went straight to The Devil barely casting her eyes at Jason.

 ‘Thank you, Lilith, stay.’ He said taking the file from her and placing it on the table, she perched herself next to him. Her eyes watching him as he pulled out papers, sorting them into two different piles.

 Jason’s eyes widened when he saw that one of the papers had his signature. He twitched. When his eyes met Lilith’s her eyes switched from blue to gold.

 She flicked through the paper’s The Devil placed in front of her. Her eyes slowly scanning, her lips pouting slightly. A pen poised in her hand

   ‘Sire, would this help?’ she said as she passed, a piece over, she had circled a small passage. He took it from her and glanced at it.

 

 The King of Hell has right to alter this agreement depending on circumstances, as long as the seller is aware and is in agreement. If the agreement is altered, the right of use of Hellhounds for soul removal is relinquished.

 

  ‘When did I put that there?’ he said as he arched his eyebrows.

 ‘It has been on the contract for a few centuries sire,’ she said slightly bowing her head down.

 ‘I’ve become soft in my old age Lilith, Jason it is your lucky day,’ he said narrowing his eyes at the contact, carefully reading each word.

Jason opened his mouth slightly, his breath stopped cold, he could not believe it. Had he just got lucky with The Devil? He stood up and shook The Devil’s hand.

 ‘Thank you, my daughter isn’t going to be an orphan.’

  Lilith started shrieking with laughter, she wasn’t making any attempt to cover it up. The Devil was smirking and he could even hear the dragon laugh.

The hairs on the back of Jason’s neck tingled, the sweat running down his back felt like ice.   The taste of blood and bile was rising in his throat. The Devil’s hand had left his hand and his pale fingers gripped him by the tie.

‘I never said I was cancelling our agreement dearie, I am just going to change the details. I said I would take you when she was 15, all I am going to do is raise the number,’ he said as narrowed his gaze.  

  Jason’s eyes widened, his pupils enlarged and his mind went straight to his daughter. Who at this moment didn’t know her life was in the process of once again changing. She was probably fast asleep, with her arm around their cat.

  ‘The deal is, I will give you until she is 25, take it or she is an orphan at 15,’ he said removing his hand. He clicked his fingers and a new contract appeared on the table.

Jason snatched the pen from Lilith’s hand and signed.

 

‘Are you really just going to give him ten years with his daughter Sire?’ Lilith said, tilting her head with her finger under her bottom lip.

 The Devil strode over to her and gripped her throat, as he pressed his thumb down across her windpipe. She clawed at his hand while gagging.

    ‘Are you stupid,  you are aren’t you dearie?’ he said as he slammed her down onto the table, ‘I hate demons they just don’t see the bigger picture, I never said I would leave the girl alone, I am going to use her, I think the world is finally ready for a Nephilim,’ he released her throat and walked away leaving her on the table.

  ‘With who?’

‘Who better than myself,’ he said leaving the room.

Time is Fleeting

‘Why is he always so late?’ Ellie thought as she leaned against the wall, she could see both entrances from where she was standing. She turned the volume up on her iPod.

  People kept glancing at her, she ducked her head, tucked hair strand behind her ear. She walked from her spot to the shop in the station. At least it is something to do. She took one of the bottles from the fridge and purchased it and walked back out. Her spot on the wall still empty.

  Ellie’s phone buzzed, a text from him.

              sorry am late, just woke up. Be there in 20 x

  ‘One day I am going to fucking murder you,’ she said as she texted back her response and shoved it back in her pocket.

  At least she could people watch there are all kinds of people to see in bus stations. She could see the coach stops perfectly, a guy a couple of years older than her had a small bouquet of flowers behind his back. He kept checking his watch, he looked excited.

   At least someone can be on time.’

  People rushed out to collect their bags. When a girl her age stepped out the coach, with a plain black suitcase and came into the station, flower boy smiled. When she looked up she beamed at him, his own smile wider. She rushed forward and he presented her with the flowers, she kissed him on the cheek first before taking them in her hands.

No one has ever bought me flowers in my whole life.’ thought Ellie as she brought her hand to her mouth and gently bit.

  He had yet to appear. The clock on the wall said he would be here in two minutes. She slung her bag around her body and placed her hands on the wall behind her to help hoist herself up.  

  ‘Boo!’ said a guy’s voice in her ear.

  ‘You’re late, again,’ Ellie said as she looked at him, her face set straight.

  ‘I’m not that late, I said I’d be twenty minutes.’ He said before smiling putting his hands on her waist.

  She shook her head before taking her phone out of her pocket, scrolled through the messages and showed him the one she was looking for.

  ‘What time does it say we were meeting?’ She asked.

  ‘Eleven…’ he said, smile dropping from his face.

‘What time is it now?’ She said moving away from him, her arm pointing to the clock.

‘Twelve, I’m sorry Ells Bells, do you forgive me?’ He said as he pulled her toward him and kissed her.

She pulled back slightly smiling. ‘Nope, you owe me.’

He nodded before taking her hand, they walked out of the station. She looked at him and frowned slightly.

‘I shouldn’t have to put up with this.’