two minute fix

I need a cig– The most common phrase you say

The fumble in your pockets, desperation growing.

That little smirk when you find your addiction.

Does it really matter that you want to blacken your lungs?

Not really, I don’t care I can count on it.

The burning of tobacco takes me back to a little girl, watching my dad.

But I only think of you, every time that smell creeps up on me. 

It’s a love hate relationship, I hate it but I know it brings you peace

It is probably what you are doing now, the cycle that repeats throughout your day.

Rip slide pluck smooth flick lick click inhale

You got your brief fix mate, but you’ll go again in ten.

Rip slide pluck smooth flick lick click inhale

Fuck Fantasy

Lately all I can think about is the last time,
when you held yourself above me, your sweat
dripping
from your hair,
onto my breasts,
only      to run      down     my body.

When I think of you, I wonder am I in your head?
I wish you wasn’t in mine, to move from you would make
life easier. I hate hearing how you no longer have an empty bed
I shouldn’t have my heart          Freeze at the thought.

Your body near mine released the dormant endorphin
locked      away,       deep within      me.

Breathe
Disengage,
Forget?

Steps you need to take to lesson the pain. I struggle with step
three.
How do I stop?
How do I stop?                  It wasn’t meant to be!

Your life mapped out, mine barely formatted. I can see why you
would want us to end before we even began.

I already know I would poison your life. I let negativity weigh me
down.
Not wanting to be someone else’s ruin, take what you desire.

I knew it was faltering. I let instinct take over and turned what
we did, saying you used me, when I was     so willing.
My body rejected my mind. Unable to take it back.
I watched your face crumble.                 I did nothing.

We tore up our past and began again, this is reality but I
hoped for fantasy.

Did You Expect This?

‘I’ve got a surprise for you,’ she says over his shoulder.

   ‘Oh,  really?’ He replies not taking his eyes away from the laptop screen, his fingers tapping away at the keyboard.

   She kisses his cheek ‘Yeah, it is a pretty huge one actually.’

    He turns and fully looks at her. Her usually loose messy hair is perfectly coiffed on top of her head. Her green eyes carefully outlined.Her lips a dark enticing red. A black dress that shows off every curve. Her long cream legs. All finished off with high stilettos.

  The laptop shuts. He stands and put his hands on her hips. Kissing her lips roughly, lipstick untouched.

  ‘I already like this surprise,’ he whispers in her ear.

   She laughs as she turns to walk away. Her heels clicking on the floor towards the front door. He follows her and sees her standing by a large suitcase.

  ‘We going on a trip doll?’ He asks, slightly grinning.

   She smirks, ‘No, you aren’t going anywhere. I am leaving for good. I just wanted your last image of me walking out and looking this good.’ She unzips the front of the suitcase and carefully takes out a leopard print thong out of the suitcase front and leaves them on the side table. ‘Next time, you cheat on someone, get rid of the evidence.’  She grabs the handle and walks out the door. It closes with a click behind her. 

  He stares at the underwear. He doesn’t even remember who they belonged too. 

  

Fight or Flight

I felt your fingers lightly stroke my body. I breathed in, eyes closed. I didn’t want to see. When your fingers left my body I was already flinching. A sharp slap came down on my arse. I wiggled from the sting.

  You paused and bent down to kiss my neck, you stroked my hair. Intimacy and fear. I hate the waiting. You spanked me again, harder this time. I moaned. You grabbed my loose hair and pulled it together. You pulled my body closer to you. 

  ‘Did you like that?’ You asked me, your lips close to my ear.  I nodded quickly. You spanked me three times.  I resisted the urge to wiggle. I didn’t want my hair being yanked out of my head. You slowly released me. Instead of resuming my position I turned around. My face looking up at yours. I slapped you in the face. Your eyes changed from playful to hungry. You slapped me back, slightly harder. I moved to a kneeling  position and kissed you. Kissing you hard, my hands moved to your hair. Your  hands mirrored mine. Both of us pulled.

I broke away, ‘Is this what you want?’ I whispered. You pushed me back onto the bed, your hands squeezed my arms. I felt the hardness from you between my legs. Your position changed as you entered me.

  I don’t know who is in charge now.